That's a better excuse, don't you think? I just don't want to fucking think about ANYTHING right now. Not about my friends, life... or him. I told him that when the year ends I'd attempt to give him a letter. He said to hurry because I only had 9 weeks left. I said I'd had 1 1/2 years. We'll see if I give it to him or not. And he said okay, we'll see. And that was that. And I wanted to rip out my heart and leave it on his doorstep with a blank note. Because that's all I have the courage to say now.