i am hanging on every word you say @ 8:39 p.m. on 02.17.2003
It's weird because... he's leaving, tomorrow I believe, and here I am, watching Zoolander on Showtime eating my macaroni and cheese and my mom asks me, "Don't you feel anything?" and as I look for an excuse as to why I shouldn't write a letter to him, I can't find any words to say. I don't... feel anything. And I wonder, isn't that a little weird? Shouldn't I be feeling something? How is it that I make myself so attached, yet so detached when it's expected that I feel something? How is it that I can feel something at the worst moments, yet at the pivotal moments, I can't find the words to say, simply because I. CAN'T. FEEL. Am I immune to all this sentimental bullshit? If so, then why do I cry like a goddamn moron at all these stupid chick flicks and such. I can cry because of a song, a poem, a movie, a line, or a simple thought, but I can't feel absolutely ANYTHING when I should.Like at the funeral, WHOA. Why the hell did I not feel anything when all these people I know and love were crying their asses off? I am such a fucking weird person. And I want a damn explanation.
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